Sue George wrote about the “otherness” that pervades bisexuality. We’re the sexual minority, often unheard, glossed over, seen as the promiscuous, dirty side of homosexuality. Quite often you read about the lesbian community, the gay community, the transgender community, or the LGBTQ community that includes all of us. On very rare occasions do you see the term “bisexual community”, since, as such, we don’t quite have one. While inclusivity within the Rainbow is wonderful, many of the issues we deal with as bisexuals are distinctly different from those of other sexualities. Even within the bi-o-sphere, men and women are viewed differently. Women are hypersexualized, glamorized as “bi chicks”, eminently desirable as a gateway to fulfillment of that ol’ threesome fantasy. Bisexual men are vilified or seen as unattractive. To many in the gay and lesbian communities we’re seen as “straddling the fence”, unable to shake loose the bonds of heterosexuality. Rather than straddling it, however, we see both sides much more clearly.
I’ve been told many times not to expect to be “taken seriously” because of my bisexuality, and I’m sure many of you are familiar with that old myth, “bisexuals just don’t exist”. I think that attitude is due in large part to “strictly” homosexual people, both gay and lesbian, that use bisexuality as a stepping stone on their way to fully coming out. They are the ambivalent ones, but we carry the brunt of their insured and insecurity, thus making it harder for us to be seen as a real community. Having starlets using it as a ploy to gain more media attention doesn’t freaking help, either. And then there are women who see bisexuality as a way to garner attention from men for themselves. With both homosexual and heterosexuals using it as a phase, it’s no wonder bisexuals aren’t taken seriously.
So what to do about it? The only ones who can change this perspective are bisexuals. Break down the fence. Your sexuality is yours, not something that someone else decides. Don’t let others speak for us. Make your voice heard. Say it here, say it on your blog, say it anywhere. Whisper it quietly to yourself. It counts, even if you’re the only one to hear.